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Humor in a Jewish Vein, jokes and stories about Jews and Israel!

Duh?

Abe was making out his Chanukah list...

"Honey," he says to his wife, "How do you spell DVD?"

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Sock it to me

One December, when I was assistant manager of a children's bookstore, we set up a special rack of small holiday books.

Looking at a few of the Chanukah books on display, a customer remarked to the counter clerk how well priced they were.

"Yes," the clerk agreed. "And they make great stocking stuffers too!"

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The Truth About Chanukah

Question: 'What is it that Jews do on each of the eight nights of Hanukkah?'

Answer:

1st night - argue over which side of the menorah do we light the candles

2nd night - cut knuckle whicle grating potato for latkes

3rd night - lose dreidel under fridge

4th night - spend hour getting wax out of menorah holes

5th night - lose track of which night you're on

6th night - get latke grease on good shirt

7th night - fish chocolate coin out of dog's mouth

8th night - be short one candle, and muddle what to do...

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A Yiddish Saying

"If I live, I'll see you Monday, if not, Tuesday."

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CHANUKAH MUSINGS: When Potatoes Become Latkes

The rest of the holidays can't hold a candle to Chanukah.

If everyone could properly pronounce the throat clearing sound of the first syallable in Chanukah, coughdrops would be a thing of the past?

How do you properly spell Chanukah? Let me count the ways...Channukah, Hannukah, Chanukah, etc.

Is it true that in Israel the washing machines say "Dreidel cycle" instead of "spin?"

Why did the mother stop her daughter from playing dreidel?
She was afraid that landing on the nun (one of the 4 letters pronounced almost like "noon") might be "habit forming."

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For more Humor, continue to page two

~~~~~~~

from the December 2007 Edition of the Jewish Magazine

for more humor see our Humor Archives

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