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Humor in a Jewish Vein, jokes and stories about Jews and Israel!

Why Chanukah Is Better Than Xmas

10. There's no early morning or late night shopping Specials

9. Eight days of presents!

8. No need to clean the chimney.

7. There's no latke-nog.

6. Burl Ives doesn't sing Hanukkah songs.

5. You won't be pressured to buy Hanukkah Seals.

4. You won't see, "You're a Putz, Charlie Brown."

3. No barking dog version of "I had a Little Dreidl."

2. No pine needles to vacuum up afterwards.

1. Latkes are cheaper to mail than fruitcakes.

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From the Mouth of Babe's, (Men are frightened to say it)

A friend's grandson, 4, was reading with his grand-dad about Adam and Eve.

He asked, "Is this where G~d took out the man's brain and made a woman?"

 

Announcing to daughter Lori that her aunt just had a baby boy and that it looked like her uncle, she said, "You mean he has a mustache?"

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Try This

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keep trying at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't.

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction. I told you so. And there's nothing you can do about it.

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Want Ads

Couch potato Latke, in search of the right applesauce. Let's try it for eight days. Who knows?

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Divorced Jewish man, seeks partner to attend shul with, light candles, celebrate holidays, build Sukkah together, attend brisses, bar mitzvahs.
Religion is not important.

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Yeshiva bochur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks same in woman.

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Female graduate student, studying kaballah, Zohar, exorcism of dybbuks, seeks mensch. No weirdos, please.

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Jewish businessman, 49, manufactures Sabbath candles, Chanukah candles, havdallah candles, Yahrzeit candles. Seeks non-smoker.

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Single Jewish woman, 29, into disco, mountain climbing, skiing, track and field. Has slight limp.

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~~~~~~~

from the December 2007 Edition of the Jewish Magazine

for more humor see our Humor Archives

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