Jewish Magazine Joke and Humor Page

            October 2013    
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Jewish Marriage:

My wife and I had words,

but I didn't get to use mine.

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I Love You, Sweetheart...

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"

All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?" Some women answered today, some yesterday, some couldn't remember.

The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: "I love you, sweetheart." The women were then told to exchange phones and to read aloud the text message responses.

Here are some of the replies:

1. Who is this?

2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?

3. I love you too.

4. What now? Did you crash the car again?

5. I don't understand what you mean?

6. What did you do now?

7. ?!?

8. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?

9. Am I dreaming?

10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.

11. I thought we agreed we would not drink during the day.

12. Your mother is coming to stay, isn't she?

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Let's Not Lose Sight...

A recent article in a newspaper reported that a woman has sued a local Hospital, saying that after her husband was treated there recently, he had lost all interest in sex.

A hospital spokesman admitted that the husband was actually admitted in Ophthalmology - "all we did was to correct his eyesight."

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Break in at the UJA

Did you hear about the break-in at the United Jewish Appeal offices?

Investigating authorities have surmised that...



from the October 2013 Edition of the Jewish Magazine

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