Jewish Humour, funny stories and jokes in a Jewish Vein


         


 
 
 
 

Search our Archives:

Home
History
Holidays
Humor
Places
Thought
Opinion & Society
Writings
Customs
Misc.

In the religious area of New York, a Rabbi left the pulpit to open up a business. After working very hard for several years and finally making some money, he decided to purchase a new automobile. Upon entering the local new car dealer, he was quickly spotted by the salesman.

"Have I got a car for you!" he exclaimed, unable to conceal his delight at finding an obviously religious man. The Rabbi turned business man, dressed in a dark suit, sporting a long beard, looked at the sales man in apprehension.

"What do you mean?"

"Ah ha," the salesman said rubbing his hands together. "Let me shown you the latest technological advance. An American car with Israeli designed computerized digital commands."

"W-What's that?" the Rabbi asked hesitatingly.

"Come right here and let me show you. You will never believe your eyes." The salesman opened the door of the new and shiny sedan. "Please sit down and I will show you.

"A one of a kind, I tell you. You won't believe your eyes. You see this car has no pedals. That's right no gas pedal and no brake pedal."

"B-But how do you stop and start?"

"Ah, that's the beauty of this, with the Israeli computerized technology all you have to do is to speak and the digital processor will convert your voice into an electronic signal that tells the motor what to do."

"I don't believe it."

"Watch, it's true. This was programmed for the religious consumer. To start, just say "Baruch HaShem" (Hebrew: Thank G-d). As the salesman spoke those words the car began to drive.

The Rabbi, was taken back, "Wow, I don't believe it! How do you stop the car?"

"That's no problem, all you have to say is 'Shema Yisroel' (the prayer declaring the unity of G-d) and the car will stop." As the salesman spoke those words, the car rolled to a halt. It's as easy as can be just say 'Baruch HaShem' to start and when you want to stop just say 'Shema Yisroel'. "

Well The Rabbi was very impressed and bought the car on the spot. Entering the car he said the magic words, 'Baruch HaShem' and the car was soon heading out and on to the local highway. Soon the Rabbi had left the city behind and was looking at the beautiful country scenery. As the car continued, the Rabbi failed to notice a sign saying that the road is closed. As the car continued it went up onto a half completed bridge.

"Oh no! We are going to crash!". Instinctively his feet searched in vain for the brake pedal, but there was none to be found. "What do I say, WHAT DO I SAY!!!" panicking he could not remember what the salesman had told him. His mind was a blank and the car was approaching the end of the unfinished bridge, together with a majestic plunge into a ravine, hundreds of feet below.

"This is the end!" the Rabbi thought. And preparing for death he began to declare the unity of G-d,."Shema Yisroel!" he said, and in a moment the car screeched to a stop with half of the car resting in a tilted manner, precariously over the bridge.

The Rabbi, soaked with perspiration, removed his trembling hand from his forehead, and looked at the miracle and exclaimed with deep feeling 'BARUCH HASHEM'".

The Jewish Magazine is the place for Israel and Jewish interest articles
The Current Monthly Jewish Magazine
To the Current Index Page
Write to us!
Write Us
The Total & Complete Gigantic Archive Pages for all issues
To the Big Archives Index Page