In Israel, They Tell Me That It's Not So Bad
-Overhead in the Street-
People in Europe and America think that the situation in Israel is pretty bad. Tourism is down. But the folk here in Israel know that the situation in Israel is not exactly as perceived from the other side of the big ocean. In Israel it's known that the real problem is only in the territories. Inside of Israel proper, the main problem is only in Jerusalem.
In Jerusalem, the local folk know that the problem is not quite as bleak as other would think. They know that there is gunfire but not every where. The real problem is only in the section of Jerusalem known as Gilo; but in other neighborhoods there is basically no problem.
In Gilo, the local population knows that the problem is not really as serious as it is made to be. Only in one section is there danger of terrorist gun fire. The real danger is centered mainly on HaAnfah Street. The rest of Gilo is pretty safe.
Even on HaAnfah Street, the people there know that not the entire street is dangerous, only one section of that street is really dangerous. The buildings that face the Arab city of Bait Ghala are dangerous. But everywhere else is relatively safe.
Now the good folk that live in those buildings know that the above is not entirely true. There are certain apartments in those buildings that are shot at, but certain apartments that are on the lowest floors are almost perfectly safe. Everyone knows that!
Even those individuals that live in those dangerous apartments know that it is not so very dangerous. Only certain rooms are dangerous. The living rooms and bedrooms are absolutely safe, it is just the kitchen and bathrooms that are dangerous, but the rest of the apartment is quite safe.
Even in those dangerous rooms, the bathroom is not quite as dangerous as you might think. When one is sitting on the toilet, for instance, you are perfectly safe because you are concealed from window view. And they can brush their teeth in the living room and take a shower by a neighbor. So you see that it is not really so bad as others think.
In the kitchen, only the area next to the toaster oven and refrigerator are dangerous, but the stove is perfectly safe since the Arab sharpshooters can not shoot around the corners and the stove is not within window sight.
Even in the kitchen, we don't really have to have toast. Fresh bread tastes good with out toasting. And by the refrigerator, it is only the upper freezer that is dangerous, but down in the refrigerator proper, as long as you stoop and take out milk, there is no real danger. It is just the freezer compartment that is dangerous - and who really needs to eat chicken that often? It will keep fresh in the freezer until the government installs the bulletproof glass in those apartments.
So you see things are not as bad as they seem.
Who knows, if things don't get better by summer, since we can't open our windows for fear of getting killed, the government may even give us air-conditioners. So you see - things are definitely not as bad as others think.
You just have to look on the bright side! Things could actually be really bright and quite rosy here soon.
from the January 2001 Edition Jewish Magazine