The Dirty Joke from the Zohar



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The Hot Babe and the Chasid

By Avi Lazerson

A  Chassid is standing in a hotel lobby about an hour before the Shabbat all dressed up in his special Shabbat clothes. A magnificent looking blonde airline hostess, with legs that go on forever, and a body to match, has just finished checking in. On her way to the elevators, she sees a Chassid. She stops dead in her tracks and walks over to him.

"Hi" she says.

"Hullo" he answers.

"I have a confession to make to you," she says "I have a sexual fantasy".

He nods.

"I want to be with a Chassidic man. I want to run my hands up and down his white silk socks, over his tzitzis, play with his gartel, run my fingers through his beautiful beard, and play with his payess. In fact I want you now, will you join me for half an hour in my room upstairs?"

He looks at her thoughtfully and says,




* * * * *

If you ask, how is it possible for a mere mortal man to relate to his evil impulse? If G-d wants us to be good, kind and considerate, why does he impart in us the impulse to do evil?

The Zohar, (Trumah 163a) deals with just this question. It asks why has G-d created such an angel and permitted its existence.

The Zohar states that the evil inclination or the Satan as it is alternatively known, is worthy of praise. When a person has defeated his evil inclination then he is worthy of praise.

All that G-d has created in the upper and lower worlds is only to enable us to grab a glimpse of His greatness. All that serve G-d with truth are worthy of praise. All that aid man to serve his creator are worthy of praise. How can the Satan be accused of being an evil agent even though he tries to push man from the path of serving his creator?

In reality, the Satan is a faithful servant of G-d.

The Zohar compares this to a king who has an only son. The king loves this son exceedingly and because of his great love commands him not to get involved with bad women. He explains to him that all who come to be with these wicked women are not worthy of being in the king's palace. The son pledges to do the will of his father.

In the kingdom, there is a beautiful and cunning prostitute. One day the king desired to see the faithfulness of his son exhibited openly. He calls to this prostitute and tells her to go to his son and seduce him in order that he may be able to behold the son's love and respect. What does this prostitute do? She goes to the son and tries to hug him and kiss him, showering all of her charms upon him in order to seduce him.

If he son is a worthy son, he will listen to the desires of his father and rebukes the wicked woman who was trying to seduce him. When this happens, the father becomes a very happy person. The father will reward the son and take him up into his special chambers of the palace to which no man goes. He will give him presents and money.

* * * * *

Who is the cause of this unprecedented show of affection? We must to say, it was the prostitute!

Now is this prostitute worthy of a reward or not?

The Zohar answers that for certain she is! Not only because she faithfully obeyed the command of the king is she is deserving of reward, but because it was only due to her that the prince can obtain such a reward. Only because of her has the love of the king towards his son been revealed, and only because of her has the son been so generously rewarded. We see from this that her action has indeed been very profitable for the prince.

The Zohar concludes, "Fortunate are those who have come across this Satan and fortunate are those who have not come into his path. Fortunate are those who came into the clutches of the Satan and escaped from her clutches. They will inherent an enormous reward in the next world."

"Fortunate are those who did not come into the path of the Satan, because had they been tried by the Satan, they might have lost all in this world and inherited Hell!"

The Zohar further gives us a key to discern when something is evil: "Good is from the good side; but very good is from the side of evil."

* * * * *

The message from the Zohar is clear. When something appears too attractive, it is most likely bad. Stay away from it! Trials that come upon a person, whether they are pleasant or difficult, are all through the agency of G-d. It is G-d's desire to see us do good and separate ourselves from evil.

If we remember this message as we continue our movement through this world, we will arrive in the next world with a gigantic reward.

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